Le Petite Rejection

Those crazy French bastards! They have a different word for everything:

You have received la petite desolee. We have not found a place for your work--but we know it will find a good home elsewhere. Please know that we've been overwhelmed with submissions recently, and simply cannot include all the great work we receive. Thank you for your submission, and we hope you continue to enjoy La Petite Zine.

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A Thousand Brief Blessings Upon Our Heads

Brevity is blessed enough to reject you:

Thank you for sending your brief essay. Although we do not have a place for your work in the issues for which we are currently reading, we wanted you to know that our readers read your essay closely. We have been blessed with a large number of excellent submissions lately, and we hope that you understand that we can only publish a small fraction of the material we receive. Good luck with your writing, Sincerely, The Editors Brevity

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Two Kinds of Rejections

In case you thought the rumors about tiered rejections were false.  Here is an example for you of the literary caste system:

Thanks for sending to West Branch. Though we have decided not to publish your work this time, we appreciate your interest in the magazine. Sincerely, The Editors of West Branch

Thank you for sending to West Branch. Though we have decided not to publish your work this time, we appreciate your interest in the magazine and hope that you will think of us in the future. Sincerely, The Editors of West Branch

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Distraction Technique Rejection

Here's a new one from those clever rascals at the Normal School. I have to say, though it confuses me, I like it very much.

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Why So Angry?

Anonymous posted this message to me today to let me know if I lose it's because I am a self-promoting douche and if I win I am a sell out. Can't win on those terms. Anyway, made me laugh. Thought I'd share:

"I for one will be delighted when you are finally, definitively rejected, your constant self-aggrandising bleating about having written a book coupled with your fawning to the vanity of editorial market-led pap-loving venality has been nauseating, and should you compromise sufficiently to get your book validated by mainstream publication it will merely go to show how sheer lack of integrity and a will to conform can get you fifteen minute in the overcrowded, overrated, dying-on-its-feet literary spotlight. And yes, I've nothing better to do. Having said that, good luck with your future literary endeavours."

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New Woman Rejection

The fonts alone on this rejection seems ancient: 1970s fershizz.

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Good Writing = Good Book?

I've had the pleasure of being rejected -- or maybe I was actually ignored -- by this esteemed editor. Yes, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure he never got back to me after agreeing to read my manuscript. Anyway his words sure do seem like the quote of the month to me. How about you? How do you interpret this? Agree or disagree?

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