Only Radio Static From the Agent

No word. I'm zen. Maybe Monday. How we suffer. Finished last rewrite end of August. Now, nearly November.  Still no word.  There was Frankfurt.  And other things. She's busy. I know.  But will she send it out?  Or send me back for more revisions?  Maybe it's good. Time brings clarity. Novels need to stew. As stated: I'm zen.  Sort of.

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The Tyrant Will Not Publish Your Piece

Well, given the name, what did you expect? From now on, inspired by this rejection, I'm going to sign all my emails "Love, Tyrant."

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Warrior of My Heart

Strange sentiment, no? "Although we've decided against your work, once upon a time we were interested." I guess the idea is that you'll feel better knowing you weren't just immediately dismissed as a terrible writer out of hand. Is it better or worse knowing that Black Warrior had interest upon opening the envelope, but quickly lost that loving feeling? Also, this is a form rejection, so how sincere could the "it's-not-you-it's-me" excuse really be taken? Not very.

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My Crazy Life and Your Too "Poetry Slam-y" Poetry

This rejection came from Dan Tricarico, editor of  LITSNACK, sent to one of our very own mice. I love the casual tone, like a friend taking a little too long to get back to you: "I'm sorry I took so long to respond to these. My life has been crazy. Unfortunately, these aren't working for me. There is some lively writing here, but they come off a little too hip-hop/poetry slam-y for my tastes. Hope you understand." p.s. Does the LitSnack motto make any sense to anyone? Just wondering.

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Not Quite Right For Junior High

Found this online. Is it me -- or are the editor's handwritten notes appearing in a younger and younger hand?  This is, like, 8th grade.

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Will You Be My Father/Agent And Never Disinherit me?

Tim Seldes is an old-timey gentleman agent. I got a rejection from him too.  I chatted with him once, not knowing that he was an agent, a legend, etc.  He was very nice and sparkly. I kind of wished he could be my father in an embarrassing way that I couldn't entirely repressed, though maybe it was because my father had died so recently and had, as many of you know, cut me (of all his children) out of the will just to be mean. As it turned out, Mr. Seldes ended up being a charming conversationalist, someone I met at a wedding: nothing more, nothing less.

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Dear Literary Monkey

If you know the Kenyon Review and its blog, (which for some reason is posting only on Merwin this month) you can help out by taking the survey mentioned above by going here. (Awfully nice of me, since LROD isn't, I notice, even mentioned on KR's blog roll....hmm.) By the way, I love Survey Monkey so much that I'm going to make up an LROD survey for all you mice to give back some feed. (Does anyone want to be on the Survey Monkey Committee?) Please submit survey questions about LROD in the comments section below.  Here are a few to get us started:

1. How many literary rejections can you honestly boast?
2. What's your social security number and mother's maiden name?
3. What's your agent's name?
4. C'mon, we can't all have Binky Urban....what's your real literary agent's name?
5. Do you really have a literary agent; or are you just floating the dream?
6. How many times (a day) do you visit LROD? 

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Inspiration Tuesday

• Henry Ford: "Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again."
• Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
• Mahatma Gandhi: “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”
• Oprah Winfrey: “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”

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